TURBO TREV RIDES OUT

Scroll down and all will be revealed!

Naughty Turbo Trev!!

Then this came:

Daily Prophet

12th September 2005

The effects of an attack by an unknown wizard on a muggle carriage have been successfully reversed, an official from the Ministry of Magic reported this morning.

“In the attack, a sign was defaced to make it appear that the carriage was parked illegally and a Discoclampus charm was put on one of the wheels,’ the official explained. ‘Since 28 February this year anyone using this charm needs a licence, and no one has a license for King Alfred’s College, Winchester, where the attack took place. We were able to remove the charm, but then we detected that the Immobilus spell had been used as well. This can only be revoked by the wand that cast it, which is one reason why the spell is illegal. We had to seek the help of a wizard experienced in this matter.”

The spokesperson would not divulge who that expert was, but he did explain:
“He followed the principle was that magic used for good is stronger than that used for evil. The way the Immobilus spell was dealt with was to endow the carriage with performance-enhancing magic, which saps the energy of the spell and eventually renders it ineffective.”

“That’s a bit like the way the Holy Spirit works in people,” commented an expert in another field, Mr. Matteus Wallackius, his eyes lighting up. “We’ll be looking at this in our Alpha course on Friday evenings!”

When asked if they knew who the perpetrator was, the official said they thought there was a link with a previous attack, in which a wizard transfigured himself into Darth Vader and entranced an assistant to cover four unsuspecting bystanders with sour cream. There were suspicions that the culprit is a student from Hogwarts School, looking for something to liven up his summer holidays. Professor Minerva McGonnegal, speaking for the school at the start of the new term, said that they had managed to identify the culprit by examining the wands of all the students, but she could not divulge who the culprit was for profession reasons.

However, she did add, in a reply punctuated by a couple of coughing fits, “What I would say is that I do believe the culprit’s bent on causing havoc will peter out in time.”

On the treatment of the offender, the Professor said that they were introducing a course on the Ethical Practice of Magic - one sadly lacking in the curriculum until now - and the culprit would be obliged to attend this course.

The Daily Prophet believes that the wizard called in to help was Mr. Arthur Weasley, Head of the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects. It is rumoured that Mr. Weasley successfully modified a Ford Anglia to the extent that two students were able to fly it to Hogwarts School after missing the Hogwarts Express.

It seems that similar powers have been conferred on the muggle carriage. One report says that it has been seen in the skies heading towards Worms Head in South Wales, passing within a furlong (the length of a Quidditch pitch) of over 60 potential eyewitnesses attending the Advanced Young Fellow-Wizards Summer School near Rhossili. Unfortunately it seems that they were all charmed to face in the opposite direction by a Stop Looking Round camera at just the moment the carriage passed overhead.

An elderly wizard at the Office for the Detection, Identification and Regulation of Flying Implements suggested that the sighting was of a device being tested by the British Government as part of a revived rocket development project. The only British Government minister prepared to comment was a Mr. John Prescott.

"The Blue Streak project was cancelled when I were just a lad, and anyone who thinks we’re restarting it now must be batty," he retorted, with a chuckle.

Readers are invited to send any reports of sightings of Blue Streak II to TheEditor@TheDailyProphet.magic.uk by e-owl.

The owner of Blue Streak II has expressed his thanks to the team who carried out the restoration. “I’m delighted with the results and I’m now hoping Mr Weasley can do something about my bike.”

Then this came:

I have a request article for the daily prophet…
Hi my name is Thomatsio Michaelus Bryant and I have read in the recent edition of the prophet and quite honestly I am amazed by the ignorance of the writer.

I am 13 and attend Bishop Vesey which I should note is Sutton Coldfield’s version of Hogwarts. At my school we are taught such subjects as chemistry (potions). Anyway I should move on before I start telling Hogwarts of how I lacks in a Headteacher at the moment…by the way Dumbledore is not dead…visit this website for proof…http://boards.ym.com/thread.jspa?threadID=545212&tstart=0…if it dosen’t work blame me
So on to my point…
The muggle in question is not in fact a muggle. His name is Trevor Francis however for several reasons he is more well known as Turbo Trev. Between ____ and 2005 (it should be noted this is a long time span) he has been in a rarely herd of position known only as AYF Leader (Advanced Young Fellow-Wizards). This enchanted position is offered only to the best of the best…so obviously Mr Ian Bryant (my father) is one of the select few. And it is a known fact that Trev. is one of the greatest wizards alive. He is often rumoured to be related to Harry Potter. For that I think he deserves the credit for the release of his automobile. Trevs. Wizarding excellence would seem to suggest that he was not only able 2 release his auto but also subdue the enemy in true turbo style.

To conclude I would like to note that I nominate Robus Cookus as Headteacher of Hogwarts while we wait for Dumbledore to re-appear.

Turbo Trev.’s admirer

Thomatsio Michaelus Bryant

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